Update on how things are. Their is obviously no slowing down of the tosser, its getting to me a bit this week as i am really unsteady walking and my left hand/arm is showing a lot of muscle loss, my feet are freezing all time and not being able to do the simplist things is pissing me off!
Polly has been great helping me out and working hard so she has been having a few nights on the town recently, which she more than deserves but ive been getting paranoid due to the last 2 nights have been with old school friends and 2 of the male friends have made it quite clear to her they fancy her, in private messages calling her sexy and how lucky i am aswel as when their out. I find it a bit inapropriate considering they know what were going through, to me it feels they are letting her know ready for when im out the way! I see the photo's of them all hugging, dancing and having a laugh, what do i have to offer compaired to them? im falling to friggin bits. We have talked about all this and how much she loves me but i cant help feeling like a failure, in all areas! I need to stop worrying but it is difficult.
One thing did upset me yesterday when i dropped Hollie off at her mums, her mum told me she got upset at her nans saying im going to lose my daddy, she has also said it to a friend here too. While she was here over weekend she was worried about her eye twitching, we told her its not the same thing and polly was really good at explaining the difference. It shows that all whats going on is playing on her mind and by saying im going to lose my daddy tells me she has heard or read something somewhere, now i have been in local paper twice with all this fundraising and word of what is wrong with me has spread all over our towns nearby so it could have come from anywhere what Hollie has heard. It breaks my heart to think she is upset and worried.
Cant get to edit this site on ipad which is shit, i can use blogger but that will be going back to what i was on before and i found it pain too get the page how i want it. Maybe i will have to go back to it just for the blog, i just dont want to loose this site.
Polly has been great helping me out and working hard so she has been having a few nights on the town recently, which she more than deserves but ive been getting paranoid due to the last 2 nights have been with old school friends and 2 of the male friends have made it quite clear to her they fancy her, in private messages calling her sexy and how lucky i am aswel as when their out. I find it a bit inapropriate considering they know what were going through, to me it feels they are letting her know ready for when im out the way! I see the photo's of them all hugging, dancing and having a laugh, what do i have to offer compaired to them? im falling to friggin bits. We have talked about all this and how much she loves me but i cant help feeling like a failure, in all areas! I need to stop worrying but it is difficult.
One thing did upset me yesterday when i dropped Hollie off at her mums, her mum told me she got upset at her nans saying im going to lose my daddy, she has also said it to a friend here too. While she was here over weekend she was worried about her eye twitching, we told her its not the same thing and polly was really good at explaining the difference. It shows that all whats going on is playing on her mind and by saying im going to lose my daddy tells me she has heard or read something somewhere, now i have been in local paper twice with all this fundraising and word of what is wrong with me has spread all over our towns nearby so it could have come from anywhere what Hollie has heard. It breaks my heart to think she is upset and worried.
Cant get to edit this site on ipad which is shit, i can use blogger but that will be going back to what i was on before and i found it pain too get the page how i want it. Maybe i will have to go back to it just for the blog, i just dont want to loose this site.
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